This post comes to you courtesy of a very cute little blue and orange two-man tent, whose long years of service and devotion are now being rewarded with the threat of (duh-duh-duuum) a garage sale. I personally think this is the work of the Zombiemobile. It's sneakily plotting behind the scenes to rid us of any alternative accommodation, so when we're inevitably homeless and starving on the street due to its insidious machinations, it can gloat and force us to come crawling back to its filthy confines. Poor short-orange/blue-and-handsome is just an innocent victim of its mind-controlling madness. Fear not, however, for you – yes, you – may be able to save this poor little guy from the horror beyond all horrors: just make an offer. He's really a very reasonable tent.

Right, I'm done hawking my wares. On to the anecdotes and accounts of daily happenings that we all cherish so.